After I took the kids to see Toy Story 3 yesterday, we had lunch and I got them settled. I spent about 20 minutes checking e-mail. During that time, my son (3) pooped in his pants. Gross. Took him to the bathroom to deal with his business. I put his man-sized turd in the toilet […]
If your munchkin is famous for squeezing instead of holding a juice box, lift up the side tabs to make wings! They also make a plastic juice box holder with plastic handles on the side, but I think this is easier.
So, I have been looking for the humor in the busted ankle of this past week. (If you need the back story, read You Know You are Having a Bad Week When You Borrow Your Dad’s Walker). Here are some things I learned about being injured and on crutches: It rains a lot when you are […]
If you are behind on my toddler poop stories, please refer to the following post: Surely Hard Liquor and Wine were Invented by Moms. Today, I was standing in the living room when my mom antenna shot straight up. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a little brown something on the rug. I […]
WARNING! This post is not for weaklings…then again, neither is motherhood! There are certain household items that not only deserve my respect, but my apology. One of those is my vacuum. (Another is the toilet, but I don’t really want to write that letter, nor do you want to read it). Okay, back to the apology […]
Thought I would share something that happened to me last year as a warning to others. About a year ago, I sold a piece of furniture on eBay for a couple hundred dollars. I accepted PayPal did local pick-up. It sold it, and it was picked up. Three months later we got a notice from PayPal that the charge had […]
So, I was talking to a mom friend about the cup o poo incident. She looked at me funny when I said I thought he was sending me a message. In retrospect, my guilt for plopping him down in front of the TV so I could get something done, was actually a totally separate issue. […]
My basis for this assumption came to me today in a cup of poo. Oh, how I wish I were kidding, but you just can’ t make this stuff up. It was actually a form of punishment and one of the many ways I am being tested through motherhood. Well, I got an “F” today. […]
Just when you think you are being a good mom…WHAM! The turds rain down. You might be familiar with my son’s previous poo escapades. (The Many Adventures of Charlie the Poo and I Think I May Have Channelled Poo). As of this weekend, I was rejoicing that my son (2.5) has turned the corner when […]
At the risk of sounding like an advertisement, which this is not, I felt compelled to tell you what enzyme cleaner I used to clean up a mess made by my son. I used Nature’s Miracle, which I actually just borrowed from a friend with two dogs. It worked like a charm on my beautiful sofa and […]
- “Mama, I yawned and sauce came out!” (vomit)
– Sydney (3) Maryville, TN
- My husband has my babies all by himself this week. When I was leaving town today, I asked Walker if he thought they would be ok . He said, "Of course, Mama. You left us food and I have a light saber."
-- Walker (5) Tupelo, MS
- "You are really annoying, and it is NOT opposite day."
-- Bryce (6) to Reed (8) Eagain, MN
- "Mom: Do you think you can be good at school the rest of the week – it’s only two more days…
Son: I’m not sure… “I can’t tell the future and I don’t have a working time machine.”
– Ethan (6) Milwaukee, MI
- "No you cannot sit on brother's face. No sitting on faces!" -- Ravyn, Ramallah, Palastine
- “Sweetheart, please don't throw yogurt at kitty.” Like saying this would actually STOP her... - Anissa, Chicago, IL
- "Get your fingers out of your nose and START EATING!" -Me, Knoxville, TN
- “We don’t tie up our friends – even if they’re part of the game.” - Jackie, St. Louis, MO