Are You An Introvert or an Extrovert? What about your kids?

Quiet. Who doesn’t love peace and quiet? I know that may seem like a given – especially if you are a mom. But I recently learned about a book by Susan Cain called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking.

Here is the author talking about the book.

Myers Briggs Type Indicator

Personality types and how people work together has always been fascinating to me. So, I love the Myers-Briggs or any other kind of type indicator. On the Myers-Briggs I am an INTJ (introversion, intuition, thinking, judgement). And I find it fascinating that my spouse is different from me in every category. He is an ESFP (extroverted, sensing, feeling, perceiving).

Do you know what you are on the Myers Briggs? Would be curious to know if your significant others were the opposite of you as well. This link takes you to an explanation of the different types.

From Shy to Confident

I was pretty shy until I moved to Bangkok for a summer when I was in college. There, I achieved a confidence I never knew I was lacking and came home a different person. Perhaps it’s because I had my eyes opened to the size of the world and saw people with problems that made me realize my “problems” were not really problems at all.  Coming out of my shell helped me later when it was time to get a job. The parts of the company I worked for were driven by committee and designed for extroverts – just like Susan Cain talks about in the video.

Oddly, this introvert ended up spending ten years working in Public Affairs and doing Public Relations. I loved it, but preferred to be behind the scenes and prep others for the hot seat rather than be in the limelight.

Even though I learned to adapt and eventually gained some confidence, at my core, I have always been an introvert. And that public-speaking event I’ve got coming up pretty much makes me want to THROW UP, but I am going to do it anyway. Because it’s good to stretch yourself once in a while.

Quiet Kids

A friend and I were talking about how one of her girls likes to be on her own sometimes – even in social situations. I told her that’s how I am, too.


If you have a child who is quiet and you are not, it might not look ideal from the outside. But if it’s what makes them tick – it’s all good on the inside. Cain also points out that lots of great leaders are introverts. So being an introvert doesn’t preclude your kiddo from thriving and being successful. I also agree with her that we tend to think the extroverted child is the happy and well-adjusted one. I also think there’s pressure fit that mold. Looking back, I can think of lots of things I did growing up trying to fit the profile of an extrovert.

If your kids are introverts they might gravitate towards activities they can do alone: reading, writing, art, (solo) music, crafts/sewing, Legos. And all of that is okay, which seems to be a main point of this book. Looking forward to reading it…in my quiet time.

So…are you an introvert or an extrovert? How about your kids? Can you predict where they will fall on the spectrum?

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