Judging Mommy

We had a fun day at the splash pad today with our friends.  My son (3) loves to play in the water. Who doesn’t? And, it’s a splash pad, when you’re there, you get wet. That’s why you go.

But at one point, my son playfully dumped water on a smaller child who didn’t like it. I corrected him. It was about time to leave when I saw him do it again to another child. There he was dumping water on the head of a small little girl who was minding her own business. He wasn’t being malicious, but still I corrected him. The mom of the little kid said it was okay. And while I appreciate that she was laid back and wasn’t too worried about it, the way she acted told me  her comment was directed at me for correcting my child.

Then I found myself explaining why I was correcting him (which I should never have done). Have you had people do this to you?  Your child does something you don’t think is okay and when you correct them, someone is there to judge you for it.

My son used to be the little kid, and now he is learning what it means to be a bigger kid around little ones. He wasn’t being malicious at all, but I want him to learn to watch out for little ones and behave appropriately. Anyway, I was just perturbed that this lady (and her friend) were so freely judging me for correcting my child.

Was any harm done? Nope. But I don’t like it when big kids run all over little ones and the parents just sit there and do nothing.

So, here I sit judging mommies who judged me today. And so it goes.

0 Responses to Judging Mommy

  1. Jennifer June 21, 2010 at 2:43 pm #

    Oh girl, I feel your pain!! Truly, I do. It ticks me off so much when I tell my girls to do or not to do something, and some other well-meaning (I’m sure) stranger contributes their two cents about how my kid’s action are “okay.” I want to say, really it’s not okay and STFU already! If I’m in a situation where in public I’m having to do some big-time disciplining, the last thing I have the patience for is someone who is undercutting me. Sheesh!

  2. Gail Yongue June 21, 2010 at 4:53 pm #

    While I don’t have kids I think that is what is wrong with those children who are running around wild with no manners. It isn’t okay to pick on other smaller kids and you are doing good teaching your children that very thing now – so he won’t grow up to be a bully. Good for you!!

  3. Jennifer Friedman June 21, 2010 at 8:34 pm #

    Ah…but the Mommies judged you for your “correcting” a 3 year old and you are judging the Mommies- who are adults. Big difference. Your teaching your little guy right from wrong, manners and such. But they should know already, obviously they chose not to use those manners!

    You little one is such a darling and has such a sweet temperment. You are just helping him learn the “right” way to act in social settings.
    So good for you for being a good Mama.
    J

  4. Ellen J June 24, 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    I totally agree with you. We correct our son and make him apologize for his incorrect actions, and it always irritates me when people seem to be judging and wondering why I am correcting him in public, and then respond with “that’s okay.”

    I think one thing that has led to my irritation is that so often, when he apologizes, people will responds with, “That’s okay.” No, it is not okay. You can forgive my kid. You can tell him you appreciate his apology. But “that’s okay” relays the message that the actions I am correcting are okay, which they are not. I have a “deal” with my “mom friends” that when our kids apologize to one another the correct response is NOT “that’s okay,” because it is not okay to hit, name call, push, kick, dump water on, etc.
    Thanks for sharing. I am glad to know I am not the only person this stuff happens to…

  5. Ellen J June 24, 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    I totally agree with you. We correct our son and make him apologize for his incorrect actions, and it always irritates me when people seem to be judging and wondering why I am correcting him in public, and then respond with “that’s okay.”

    I think one thing that has led to my irritation is that so often, when he apologizes, people will responds with, “That’s okay.” No, it is not okay. You can forgive my kid. You can tell him you appreciate his apology. But “that’s okay” relays the message that the actions I am correcting are okay, which they are not. I have a “deal” with my “mom friends” that when our kids apologize to one another the correct response is NOT “that’s okay,” because it is not okay to hit, name call, push, kick, dump water on, etc.
    Thanks for sharing. I am glad to know I am not the only person this stuff happens to…

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