What I Wish I’d Known: Angie’s Perspective

Angie’s Perspective

Being a mom is, by far, the absolute best job I have ever had.  But, as the mother of a now two-year-old, I can look back and say “I wish I had known” about several things.

Babies are Really Expensive.

It’s not a secret that having a baby is an expensive endeavor.  But, I don’t think we truly appreciated how expensive babies really were.  For instance, no matter what type of daycare you choose, it can break the bank.  We pay more for daycare than my father pays for his mortgage.  Don’t get me wrong – we LOVE our daycare and think its worth what we pay for it (at least compared to equally expensive alternatives).  But, we did not appreciate how expensive daycare would be.

In addition, if you choose to use disposable diapers, you will feel like you are ALWAYS buying diapers (expensive).  A first child means you typically will have to buy things as you need them (clothes in the right size, toys, etc.).  Needless to say, a trip to Target (or whatever your local convenience store may be) became much more expensive!!

It is Possible to Function on Very Little Sleep.

Prior to the arrival of my child, I was a night owl and my most productive times were late in the evening.  But, even when I would go for long stretches of getting no sleep, there was always a chance to “catch up” at some point (or at least to sleep in).  With a young baby - sleeping in is a joke!  Getting much sleep at all can be challenging too.  With a new baby you are pretty much a slave to your bundle of joy’s need to eat (seriously, sleep when baby sleeps).

Once I returned to work I amazed myself at how much I could accomplish getting up multiple times overnight, getting up earlier to be on time, and still trying to get everything else done.  People ask me how I’ve been able to do it – my response is always, “I do what I have to do.  I don’t really have a choice.” But, if I’m being totally honest with myself, I often don’t feel like I’m excelling at any of my roles - most days, just getting through the day is accomplishment enough (my standards for what I can expect from myself have definitely changed).

A Mommy’s Kiss is Very Powerful.

It is the greatest feeling in the world to know that you (and you alone) can make EVERYTHING better with a simple kiss.  When my son started figuring out he could get attention (I.e. a kiss) whenever he was “hurt,” he learned to say “ouch” pretty quickly.  And, although I don’t want to raise a little boy who cries at every bump and bruise, in those early days I felt it was important to reassure him (with unnecessary kisses) that I would always be there to help, support, and comfort him.

Having a Mama’s Boy is Exhausting (But Wonderful).  

My little one has really turned out to be a mama’s boy.  And, I’m okay with that except that it can get very exhausting!  Unfortunately, mama is the only one who can make things better (at times) and that means mama’s needs (at least for a while) are second in priority to everything else.

My Husband is an Amazing Partner.  I count myself very lucky to have the partner that I do.  My husband does almost all of the laundry in our house (so long as I fold baby clothes and sheets), he washes dishes, he changes diapers, and he cleans the house (not to mention countless other things).  And, when I thank him or tell him I feel guilty about all that he ends up doing, he assures me that everything I’m doing for our son is my fair share.  Am I lucky or what??!!

Kids Really are Sponges.

It has absolutely amazed us how quickly our son has learned so many things. Whether figuring out how to crawl and walk or developing language skills, watching our little one figure
things out has been an amazing experience.  And, of course, your child is a genius because he has figured things out so quickly.  But, you MUST be careful not to compare your child to other kids his age because inevitably your child has not learned something one of his/her classmates has learned.  It is important to make sure your child is not “behind” in reaching developmental milestones – but, every child is on his/her own schedule and so long as they are developing “on schedule,” it does not matter whether they were the first or last to learn the skill.

Angie S. is a married mother of 2-year-old, Carl, who is absolutely precious. Angie lives with her family in Washington, D.C., where she works as a U.S. Attorney.

She is like a sister to me. We’ve been friends since we were roommates in a group house in Washington, D.C. (after college). And it’s awesome that she’s a mom now – she’s a really good one, too!  Angie was pregnant when I was writing Secrets of The Mommyhood so she had great questions that influenced the content. And as a brilliant attorney, she’s the one who helped make sure I followed the rules. She also found all kinds of things in the editing process no one else did. She and my husband and I read the book about 8 million times.  She’s also the one who drove eight hours in two days to be at my surprise book party. Because that’s how she rolls.

Thanks for your contribution to this book, Angie. And thanks for sharing your wisdom with TheMommyhood.com