I’ll be honest, I stoop to bribery sometimes. I’m not thumping my chest here, just being honest. There are times when I just can’t handle doing things the hard way, so I play one of the Trump cards I’ve been stockpiling.
Today, it was something a little more exotic than normal –gummy worms recently supplied by the grandparents. There were a few things I forgot to drop off for a consignment sale and I knew it would be a challenge to get in and out with good behavior, so I bought that good behavior with gummy worms.
I saw a mom friend in there and her kids were bored but behaving well. “There’s gum in the car” she whispered her bribe to me and I whole-heartedly understood.
I do it, too, sister! And it’s nice to know I am not alone.
It used to be a lot easier. They would forget to collect on their bribes. Now if I issue a bribe before bed, the first thing out of their mouths the next day is for me to pay up. So it goes.
Then I got to thinking about how often I do it. It’s not too often. I think if I did it all the time, it would lose it’s effectiveness. It’s definitely a path to cooperation.
Is there a better way? Sure, but where’s the fun in that? This is when it’s good to be in charge. You have a car and money to buy CANDY with which to bribe your children.
How about you? Have you bribed your kids lately? What is your “reward” of choice?
Yes, I just did it (hanging head in shame) and it BACK FIRED on me! I really wanted to attend book club but hubby is out of town. I let the kids know that Panara has really big, yummy cookies for those who behave while Mommy talks about her book. WRONG. Yes, the cookies were big and yummy but the kids were not so good. ~sigh~
Yes, I just did it (hanging head in shame) and it BACK FIRED on me! I really wanted to attend book club but hubby is out of town. I let the kids know that Panara has really big, yummy cookies for those who behave while Mommy talks about her book. WRONG. Yes, the cookies were big and yummy but the kids were not so good. ~sigh~
Who doesn’t use bribery, I would like to know?
We don’t do it often, but of course I’ll pull out that trump card too, now and again! I look at it as a “life lesson” for the kids. If you comply with what you are asked to do there is a reward. Works with the hubby too, he-he.
Jen
Who doesn’t use bribery, I would like to know?
We don’t do it often, but of course I’ll pull out that trump card too, now and again! I look at it as a “life lesson” for the kids. If you comply with what you are asked to do there is a reward. Works with the hubby too, he-he.
Jen
I read in Parenting Magazine that if you set the standard ahead of time (before they become difficult to handle) and tell the children that they will be rewarded for good behavior, you are using a “reward system” to teach them your expectations. However, if they are already acting difficult and then you tell them they will get a treat for stopping what they are doing wrong and acting correctly, then it is “bribery.”
Smells like premeditated bribery to me, but it sure sounds better to call it a reward system. Actually, I get what you are saying. I usually stoop to bribery of the moment when there is the potential to be embarrassed — or I am getting wet. My son never wants to get in his car seat when it is pouring rain. He chooses THAT moment to fling himself up between the front seats of my car in the eternal search for candy.
I read in Parenting Magazine that if you set the standard ahead of time (before they become difficult to handle) and tell the children that they will be rewarded for good behavior, you are using a “reward system” to teach them your expectations. However, if they are already acting difficult and then you tell them they will get a treat for stopping what they are doing wrong and acting correctly, then it is “bribery.”
Smells like premeditated bribery to me, but it sure sounds better to call it a reward system. Actually, I get what you are saying. I usually stoop to bribery of the moment when there is the potential to be embarrassed — or I am getting wet. My son never wants to get in his car seat when it is pouring rain. He chooses THAT moment to fling himself up between the front seats of my car in the eternal search for candy.
My son was scheduled for his 3 year photo and has entered a stage where he turns away and won’t smile if too much attention is focused on him. Fearing that the photo sessions was going to be a flop I told him that if he followed the photographer’s instructions and smiled for all his photos he could open a birthday present one week early. This was a huge motivator and he was perfect and smiled all the way through the session. The best outcome was that we had the photographer shoot some pics of him opening the present which turned out beautifully and captured a TRULY genuine smile.
LOVE the present idea. I will definitely be trying that.
My son was scheduled for his 3 year photo and has entered a stage where he turns away and won’t smile if too much attention is focused on him. Fearing that the photo sessions was going to be a flop I told him that if he followed the photographer’s instructions and smiled for all his photos he could open a birthday present one week early. This was a huge motivator and he was perfect and smiled all the way through the session. The best outcome was that we had the photographer shoot some pics of him opening the present which turned out beautifully and captured a TRULY genuine smile.
LOVE the present idea. I will definitely be trying that.