Well, I don’t know why I make things hard for myself, but sometimes I do. It’s sort of sad that this list is growing, but the facts are the facts. Here are two more unexplained acts of stupidity.
#1 – I leave landmines in the hallway (and sometimes the bathroom). You know when you turn off the TV to head to bed and your eyes are struggling to see as you make your way from a bright space to a dark one? This is when I rack my brain for potential items I may have left in the hall when the sun was still out. It’s usually a laundry basket or the vacuum. I walk slowly like a Mummy while I try to visualize what might be lurking. Sometimes I am lucky enough to step on the vacuum cord first, which gives me a heads up. Other times, not so much. Somehow I still manage to get hurt, even when I am expecting something to be there.
The worst part is I have only myself to blame. In fact, my husband has to deal with my landmines, too. The worst one was when I left the glass shower door open and he got up to use the restroom during the night. He must have been in a hurry. BOOM! “Mother @^#$%!!!” (Oops. Sorry, Babe).
#2 – I run into inanimate objects. We were cleaning out the garage. Wait! That so rarely happens, it bears repeating. We were cleaning out the garage…and not once, but TWICE I ran into the same cement planter. First I got a scab, then a bruise. It’s a doozy, too. And I haven’t been able to shave that spot. So it’s hairy now. Great. Well, I guess it goes with my hairy knee. No matter how hard I try, when the sun hits my knee I see I have once again failed with the razor…but, I digress.
If you missed my other bids for Mensa candidacy, you can read them here.
Anyone else want to joing me in this clutz therapy session? So…tell me about your mother hairy bruise?
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