Sometimes, it’s just better to lie.

I had never seen Anderson Cooper’s talk show before (uh, not my favorite, by the way). Anyway, it was a show on how easy it is for pedophiles to get access to little kids.

Sometimes, I operate from a place of fear and paranoia when it comes to my kids’ safety. And this show had me AMPED up.

My daughter was going to spend the night with a friend and the mom told me they had scheduled a last-minute family dinner at her mom’s house and she wanted to bring my daughter along. I know the grandma; she’s a teacher at my daughter’s school.  And she’s awesome, so no problem there.

In a subsequent conversation, my friend told me there would be all these other people there, including some adult males I don’t know.

Now, having just watched this TV show, I realized I was no longer comfortable with the plan.

Warning! Warning, Heather! It’s time to lie. Lie, Girl, RIGHT NOW!

What I should have said is, ‘Molly has decided she wants to come over to your house after dinner. Is that okay?’

But instead…I spewed my fresh paranoia all over my friend, who tried not to take it personally, but ultimately did.

So I offended my friend (and maybe her sweet mom).

I still think my decision was the right one, but I handled it CRAPtastically. I hate it when I do stuff like that.

I honestly didn’t mean to offend anyone, but, honesty, in this case, was not the best policy.

Live and learn. (And lie.)

Can anyone relate to this? Anyone else operate from a place of paranoia.

4 Responses to Sometimes, it’s just better to lie.

  1. jen September 13, 2012 at 8:20 pm #

    Oh my friend….you did what you did from your mama bear heart, nobody can fault you. And I’m sure your friend understands, or will eventually. Your a great Mom. Period.

    • Heather September 13, 2012 at 8:45 pm #

      Ohhh. Thanks, Jennifer! It’s comforting to know that even when I’m a total tool, my friends will be supportive and help me look for the sunny side. Thanks, friend.

  2. Anissa September 13, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    I totally agree that your instincts were right; it’s unfortunate that your friend was offended, but she might have done the same in a similar situation. I also hate it for you that you didn’t handle the way you would have liked, but at the end of the day your first priority is to protect your child, not your friend’s feelings.

    I appreciate you sharing this, H., because there’s a lot to learn here. I’m not looking forward to having to confront these kinds of issues. Two days a week at Mother’s Day Out is hard enough right now.

    xoxo, Sweets.

    • Heather September 13, 2012 at 10:38 pm #

      Thanks for your sweet comment, Anissa. It’s a whole lotta what NOT to do over here sometimes. Wish I had handled it differently, but I can’t change it so I will just own it and learn from it.

      Still going to be over-protective, though. I own that, too.

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