What I Wish I’d Known: Motherhood Wisdom

What I wish I’d Known is a series of posts about motherhood written by moms I know and admire in support of the launch of my book, Secrets of The Mommyhood: Everything I wish someone had told me about pregnancy, childbirth and having a baby.

Motherhood Wisdom

By Elizabeth Rasberry

Before I had my son, I had many dreams about being a mom.  As a typical high-achieving, project-planning go-getter, the plans were on my terms.  That’s what planners do – control the outcome, or at least attempt to control the outcome.  In my plan, I would be a mother by my 30th birthday.  Six months after my son was born, I turned 37 years old.  I was just slightly off plan – give or take 7 years! 

The one thing I wish I knew is that so much of this journey is NOT in your control.  Once you accept that, things will be so much easier.  I’m by no means an expert, but here are few things I wish I knew:

Keep it Simple

You will swoon over all sorts of gadgets and “must-haves” that are designed to make your life easier.  Some work, some don’t.  I was visiting my grandparents for my first Mother’s Day when my son was barely a month old.  I forgot my fancy-baby-superstore-newborn body part healing cream and was a little upset about it.  My grandmother goes to her medicine cabinet and pulls out the Vaseline.  Yes, the kind you get from the Dollar Store.  The stuff works wonders.  For almost everything.  Chapped lips, diaper rash, skinned knees, and a newborn’s healing belly button.  What did my almost three year old play with for nearly an hour straight last Saturday? An empty shipping box.  Less is more.  Keep it simple.

Everything is a Phase

When you’re in the moment, whatever you’re going through seems so urgent, so important, and sometimes really overwhelming.  It will pass.  You (and your child) will get through it.  Sleep deprivation, teething, temper tantrums, colic, potty training, it will all be okay.

Don’t Rush It

It’s so easy to wish for what you don’t have.  I can’t wait until she starts talking. Oh, I wish he would walk.  Stop it.  Now.  I realize that it’s a complete cliché, but time goes by really fast.  When my husband and I were trying to conceive, the days and months crept by as we saw specialists, took tests, waited on results, had procedures and waited some more.  Now that my son is here, I am completely convinced that the universe has somehow sped up.  How else do I explain our little “peanut” shaped blob on a blurry ultrasound photo is now a walking, talking, opinionated toddler!  The days are long, but the years are short.  Even in the moments that don’t seem that enjoyable, don’t rush it.

Elizabeth Rasberry is a married mother of three-year-old Brice who lives in Atlanta, GA. She and I had a ball working together when I lived in Atlanta. I loved seeing her all the time and getting her take on things. 

And she had this candy dish on her desk that she filled with Smarties and DumDum lollipops that represented our workplace. It was interesting when the dish was full how quickly the Smarties disappeared. Then there would be just a few Smarties and a whole bunch of DumDums. (Fun, right? Got a candy dish? Try it and see what happens! )

Thanks, E, for sharing your wisdom with The Mommyhood. 

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