The Wiz

“The grass is always greener over the septic tank.” ~ Erma Bombeck

Well if the grass is greener at my neighbor’s house…it’s because my must-have-been-raised-in-a-barn son went in their yard. And it didn’t stop there…

My kids love to play with the neighbor kids who live in the house behind ours. The family has three little girls around the same age and a trampoline. Need I say more?

Even though Charlie (3) is the only boy, he idolizes his older sister and they play well together, so he has no problem hanging with the girls. Remarkably, (and knock on wood) the kids all get a long really well.  They take turns playing in our two backyards and the parents take turns watching them. All is as it should be…until Charlie needs to wiz.

Not too long ago when he was over at their house, I learned he had to pee and just found the nearest tree. Nice, especially because they have three girls and aren’t used to little boy plumbing.

Naturally, I was mortified when I heard about it, so we talked to him.  The next time he went over to play and had to pee, he asked to use the restroom. This is good, right? Well, no parenting accomplishment goes unpunished…so of course there’s more.

When it was time for the kids to come home, I walked over to tell them it was time to go. But before I could even utter a word, the girls with brutal honesty started yelling at once  “Charlie peed EVERYWHERE in our house!”

I rested my hands on the fence in front of me and drew in some oxygen for support while I processed the information. Turning to my neighbor, I sheepishly said, “I am SO sorry.  What happened, and I would be happy to clean it up.”

I was mortified. Standing there I was trying to replay the scenario in my head the way I imagine it went down. Charlie is in there by himself and starts to go. Then he realizes he’s not familiar with this bathroom so while he’s peeing he begins to look around the room and his racehorse pee stream is painting the walls like fireman’s hose douses a burning building. (Woe is me.)

Fortunately, the neighbor was very gracious about it and acted as though it wasn’t a big deal when he told me he had already dealt with it.

Sorry, Dude. I totally owe you one.

Anyone else have any good kids-in-the-bathroom stories to tell?