Toys You Should Buy for People You Secretly Hate

Okay, if there was a lemon-of-a-Christmas-gift in the bunch you have surely identified it by now. What was it?

For us, the worst Christmas gift was actually one from a whole year ago. That means it’s been giving me joy and splendor (and sphincter clenches) for all that time.

What is it, you say? Why, it’s the Melissa and Doug money set with like 5,000 million billion pieces. And they are everywhere.

In the playroom….

By the way, this picture totally looks like I Spy. (I spy a dirty sock, a wedding bouquet and a bey blade thingy!)

 In the hallway…

 And…oh, look! There’s the money tray and it’s completely empty!

(except for that stray piece of Melissa and Doug birthday cake)

What am I doing about it? Well, if I was smart, I would gather it all up and make it “disappear.” But, of course, my kids would notice if it all went away at once. So whenever I find stray fake money around the house I just throw it away. Eventually (and hopefully before they go to college) there will be nothing left. 

If you ever have to buy a gift for someone you hate, buy them this mother torturer in disguise. And if you can’t find this, anything with a horrible repetitive noise or covered in glitter will do.

Why? WHY do we to it to ourselves?!

I know of another winner. Jennifer who writes a column for Babble Voices called Southern by Proxy recently wrote about her experience with the evil kid product known as bath markers.

So what’s your least favorite toy? Talk to me, Goose.

For the record, I am a huge fan of Melissa and Doug products. We have a ton of them and they’re awesome. Just not the money – math and capitalism notwithstanding. Because I will say the play money HAS helped my kids learn to count as they make change for the $247 they charge for a Melissa and Doug play donut. And it’s a lot cleaner than real money.

6 Responses to Toys You Should Buy for People You Secretly Hate

  1. Melinda January 5, 2012 at 8:50 am #

    This is good information to have in my arsenal. THANK YOU!! So far, Elena doesn’t have a toy that I HATE (yet). But EVERYTHING takes batteries… thus lots and lots of noise. My husband says it sounds like we’re running a casino in our house.

    • Heather January 5, 2012 at 12:42 pm #

      A casino! Great description. We would jump for joy when the batteries finally wore out in an annoying toy. Then we would just call the toy “broken.” And if the toy was bad enough, we would break it ourselves. Ahh, good times.

  2. Elizabeth January 5, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    This is awesome and Melissa & Doug are evil toymakers. Everything is well made, but it always has 1 million pieces. We got a “band in a box”! For a 2-year old. 2!!!! So far, it hasn’t been opened yet. We’ve been stalling saying it’s not music time yet. He also got a guitar, piano and microphone. Future entertainer over here!

    • Heather January 10, 2012 at 11:47 am #

      He’s probably a musical genius and you are just holding him back. TOTALLY kidding. Loud, banging toys with lots of parts and pieces should come with Excedrin for the parents and maybe a house cleaner like Alice from the Brady Bunch. You know, Mrs. Brady may have had six kids, but she had live in help. I’m just say’n.

      Anyway…I bet he is an awesome entertainer. Would love to see him in action.

  3. Jennifer Porter January 10, 2012 at 11:09 am #

    I am so NOT a fan of tea party sets! Such a sweet concept and yet within minutes the cups are over here, the saucers are over there and the little tea pot has made its way to the bathtub where my girls think it’s hilarious to gross mom out by “drinking” bath water straight from the tea pot!!! I also have intense dislike for the little v-tech toys that make horrible screeching noises at top volume. Luckily, we’ve pretty much outgrown those! Now, my girls are happy to sit and play with their Leapsters/Leappad, and I’m just praying I don’t find those in the bathtub! :)

    • Heather January 10, 2012 at 11:49 am #

      We have a tea set in the bathtub, too. Although at least there it is contained in one spot. But still, yeah the drinking is not ideal. My kids enjoy a good reaction from me as well. Maybe that’s why they try to make me do the crazy scream. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy…

      Glad your other annoying toys are outgrown, and I too hope your electronics stay out of the tub!

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