I was having a lot of nausea, which was odd. My brain was kind of foggy, too, but even that didn’t tip me off. And then, the kicker: heartburn. The only time I have EVER had heartburn is when I was….uh, pregnant.
So I did what anyone would do: 1) flip out, and 2) go to the store and buy a pregnancy test. And what happens when you go to the store to buy a pregnancy test? You run into EVERYONE YOU KNOW!!! Or two separate people you know, which is a lot when you are hiding a pregnancy test in your cart.
And because I was freaking out, I have NO IDEA what I or anyone said to me at the store that day. They all sounded like the trumpeted teacher on the Peanuts, “Wah wah whah whaah, whah wah wah whaah.”
I don’t remember even driving, but somehow I got home. I ran to the bathroom, took the test and waited…
.
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wait for it…
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The test was negative.
It turns out, I am not having a baby. I having a book.
And those “symptoms” I was experiencing apparently were stress-related side effects of birthing a pregnancy book (with corners!). Fortunately, it’s a paperback.
Secrets of The Mommyhood is everything I wish someone had told me about pregnancy, childbirth and having a baby. It’s full of practical information and funny stories for first time mommies-to-be, and it would make a GREAT gift if you know any pregnant women.
The book is now available in paperback
and eBook at the following stores:
Amazon.com | Nook | Kindle
Thanks for letting me share my big news and thank you so much for reading TheMommyhood.com. Hope you have a great one!
Heather
P.S. All that – with the fantom pregnancy symptoms and going to buy a test and running into people at the store – totally happened.
Really had me going there! Totally true! Corners and all. Ouch. But it’s so beautiful it’s worth all the pain.
The birthday girl is ON IT! My first commenter on the big announcement. Thanks for all your support, Whitney! And Happy Birthday!
Heather
Ha! Love it!!!! Love you too… Try to take it all in today. What a huge accomplishment, H!
Thanks, Boog. You’re a good sister!
This is hilarious!! I love it! And what’s a girl gotta do to get a signed copy??
Your book will become a new regular for shower gifts, too!
Hi Patra! Thanks for making this a shower gift. I will shoot you an email so we can catch up!
Heather
Hahahahahaha! So HAPPY for you! The birthing of a book may be even more a labor of love than having a real baby! Congrats on this huge accomplishment! You are a rock star!
I was about to bring you some pickles & ice cream!!!! Congrats A book…. How exciting???!!!! I want a signed copy. Great news & you don’t have to send this book to college! Getting for my baby shower gifts!
Stacy
Stacy – Excellent point about college! Thanks for your sweet note. I would be so grateful for your help getting this book to any first-time moms out there. It’s intended to be helpful (and entertaining!).
Thanks for your sweet comment, see you soon!
Heather
Thanks, Friend. Couldn’t have done it without you!
Wow! Thought it was grandchild #6! But I am just as excited about your book and so proud I could bust! Congratulations again, and much success to you in this endeavor. To coin a phrase from “Legally Blond”………………”You did it!”.
Hee hee. I like a good fake out. Thanks, Mom!
Congrats on your book! So impressive! I am not pregnant, nor first time mom anymore but I sure wanna get the book for a good laugh!
Hiya Amy! Thanks for the support. It’s got some funny funny stories in it. One, from a friend of mine, gets me every time.
Thanks for the sweet comment!
Heather
You always make me laugh!!! Congratulations on the book! Can’t wait to read it
Thanks, Christine! Hope you guys are doing well.
Hedda