Crashed and burned in the yard this week. Here’s how my son took me down…
My not quite 3-year-old is at that age where he is testing us constantly. He was walking on the lower end of a brick retaining wall between our house and the neighbor’s. I asked him to get down. He sat down. Next time I looked over he was up and tight-roping it to the taller end (3 or so feet high, plus there is a hill).
I went over to get him down. I put my hands under his arms and down he came. Man he was heavy, so I moved my right foot to brace for the impact. I stepped in a hole, rolled my ankle and down we went. Poor Charlie went face-first into the neighbors wooden fence as I rolled down the hill with my busted ankle.
Charlie has quite the melon, so he really just got a scrape on the forehead, but naturally he was really scared and crying. He was climbing on me for comfort and I was trying to stop the involuntary monkey noises I was making to express my pain to check him out and make sure he was okay. I got Charlie calmed down and then just laid there trying to assess the damage without moving.
I was hoping it was just going to hurt for a minute and then be fine. Not so much.
As soon as I stood up a golf ball-size lump appeared on the side of my foot and it was throbbing. I was doing some major cursing in my head as I hopped into the house to get my phone. The ONE time you need somebody. I called half a dozen people and NOBODY was answering their phone. I swear if I had a question about peanut butter, everyone would have answered on the first ring.
And of course, when does this happen? When my husband is out-of-town.
I eventually got to my mom and mother-in-law who donned their capes and swooped in to the rescue. My mom brought me some crutches and a bandage (and a walker my Dad thought I might want). And my mother-in-law stayed the night to help with the kids.
The next day my sister stopped by with cake. This sent Charlie into a frenzy of excitement (what can I say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree). Anyway, while running on the driveway with his cake he fell. My son has a head like a cinder block, so if he is even slightly off-balance his noggin takes him down. I live in the south, so now I must say the obligatory “bless his heart.”
So, now he had a second lump. The kid looked like he had horns. Fortunately, one of the lumps went away and he is just left with the one lump and a nasty looking scab. He picked his scab today, so now he looks like a bloody cyclops (bless his heart).
If I try to put medicine on it he has an all out tantrum. After multiple drive by swipes with the neosporin, I finally decided to just bribe him to wear the band-aid. It’s totally bribe-worthy situation.
Anyway, THAT is how my toddler took me down. How’s your week going?
Need another chuckle? Part II is: Ten Things I Learned From My Purple Foot
I was laughing so hard that I peed on myself just a tiny bit while reading this. Totally a normal thing to happen at 7 months pregnant right??
Absafrickinlutely.
I’m not even pregnant and that made me pee a little bit. Do you think you’re sending Charlie mixed messages when you approach him on the premise that you’re trying to keep him safe and you end up dwarf-tossing him into the fence? TOO FUNNY! Bless your heart.
I first read your e-mail and didn’t have time to read your blog. Glad I didn’t b/c my son would have been late to school b/c I was laughing so hard after reading this that I would have needed time to collect myself! I’m so sorry that happened!! I’ll call you later…
Heather, you’ve missed your calling. I’m thinking now that you could have done stand up! Glad you’re “chronicling” your adventures. Looking forward to seeing you soon.