You Know You are Having a Bad Week When You Borrow Your Dad’s Walker

Crashed and burned in the yard this week. Here’s how my son took me down…

My not quite 3-year-old is at that age where he is testing us constantly. He was walking on  the lower end of a brick retaining wall between our house and the neighbor’s.  I asked him to get down. He sat down. Next time I looked over he was up and tight-roping it to the taller end (3 or so feet high, plus there is a hill).

I went over to get him down. I put my hands under his arms and down he came. Man he was heavy, so I moved my right foot to brace for the impact. I stepped in a hole, rolled my ankle and down we went. Poor Charlie went face-first into the neighbors wooden fence as I rolled down the hill with my busted ankle.

Charlie has quite the melon, so he really just got a scrape on the forehead, but naturally he was really scared and crying. He was climbing on me for comfort and I was trying to stop the involuntary monkey noises I was making to express my pain to check him out and make sure he was okay. I got Charlie calmed down and then just laid there trying to assess the damage without moving.

I was hoping it was just going to hurt for a minute and then be fine. Not so much.

As soon as I stood up a golf ball-size lump appeared on the side of my foot and it was throbbing. I was doing some major cursing in my head as I hopped into the house to get my phone. The ONE time you need somebody. I called half a dozen people and NOBODY was answering their phone. I swear if I had a question about peanut butter, everyone would have answered on the first ring.

And of course, when does this happen? When my husband is out-of-town.

I eventually got to my mom and mother-in-law who donned their capes and swooped in to the rescue. My mom brought me some crutches and a bandage (and a walker my Dad thought I might want).  And my mother-in-law stayed the night to help with the kids.

The next day my sister stopped by with cake. This sent Charlie into a frenzy of excitement (what can I say, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree). Anyway, while running on the driveway  with his cake he fell. My son has a head like a cinder block, so if he is even slightly off-balance his noggin takes him down. I live in the south, so now I must say the obligatory “bless his heart.”

So, now he had a second lump. The kid looked like he had horns. Fortunately, one of the lumps went away and he is just left with the one lump and a nasty looking scab.  He picked his scab today, so now he looks like a bloody cyclops (bless his heart).

If I try to put medicine on it he has an all out tantrum. After multiple drive by swipes with the neosporin, I finally decided to just bribe him to wear the band-aid. It’s totally bribe-worthy situation.

Anyway, THAT is how my toddler took me down. How’s your week going?

Need another chuckle? Part II is: Ten Things I Learned From My Purple Foot

13 Responses to You Know You are Having a Bad Week When You Borrow Your Dad’s Walker

  1. Paula March 25, 2010 at 4:49 pm #

    I was laughing so hard that I peed on myself just a tiny bit while reading this. Totally a normal thing to happen at 7 months pregnant right??

  2. Mark March 25, 2010 at 6:03 pm #

    I’m not even pregnant and that made me pee a little bit. Do you think you’re sending Charlie mixed messages when you approach him on the premise that you’re trying to keep him safe and you end up dwarf-tossing him into the fence? TOO FUNNY! Bless your heart.

  3. Victoria Jansma March 26, 2010 at 6:59 am #

    I first read your e-mail and didn’t have time to read your blog. Glad I didn’t b/c my son would have been late to school b/c I was laughing so hard after reading this that I would have needed time to collect myself! I’m so sorry that happened!! I’ll call you later…

  4. Kristen March 26, 2010 at 12:41 pm #

    Heather, you’ve missed your calling. I’m thinking now that you could have done stand up! Glad you’re “chronicling” your adventures. Looking forward to seeing you soon.


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