10 Things Learned from My Purple Foot

So, I have been looking for the humor in the busted ankle of this past week. (If you need the back story, read You Know You are Having a Bad Week When You Borrow Your Dad’s Walker). prplefoot

Here are some things I learned about being injured and on crutches:

  1. It  rains a lot when you are on crutches. (Just like your kids never get in their seats so you can buckle them when it’s raining).
  2. An ace bandage is like a bulls-eye to your kids.
  3. Other people look at YOU when your child has a nasty forehead wound. The crutches helped in this instance. I’m pretty sure it made me look less guilty of child abuse. Last week, I hopped (literally) into the grocery store to go to the customer service counter. My son, the bloody cyclops (bless his heart), was with me. While I was at the counter, he was playing with the movable railing and took the whole thing down with a raucous. All eyes in the check-out lanes were on us as he screamed bloody murder. I’m sure his existing wound looked like a new one. All I could do was gimp over to comfort him. Then I limped out holding him, grunting every other step from his added weight on my purple foot.
  4. Your kids show no mercy when you are injured. Mine took a chair over to the pantry to get to the good stuff. Apparently, it’s a free-for-all when mom’s down.
  5. Kids like to play with crutches, and the crutches are inevitably out of reach afterwards. (And a walker is like a mini-jungle gym).
  6. You can use a crutch to reach the light switch, the remote and that spider web you haven’t done anything about.
  7. Crutches strain all kinds of weird little muscle groups you don’t know you have.
  8. Using a motorized cart at Lowes, I learned I can re-enact the first ten seconds of one of my favorite commercials.
  9. If you wait until the last-minute to pee when you are on crutches, you are seeking incontinence. And, last, but not least…
  10. Wine and crutches are not a good combination.

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0 Responses to 10 Things Learned from My Purple Foot

  1. Jennifer/B97.5 March 29, 2010 at 12:09 pm #

    Ahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So sorry you hurt your foot. But this post is hilarious!

  2. Victoria March 29, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

    Yes, I did need a laugh since I have a horrible headache(thanks to Knoxville for the weather!!). Keep them coming!

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