There are all sorts of people in your life who will suck you dry if you let them. Being polite and a having a desire to please others often leads me to put other people before me and sometimes even before my own family. It sort of sneaks up on me and I don’t even know I am doing it…to myself.
So, this year, I resolve to say yes more and say no more.
My Yes List
- Yes to my kids who want to paint and play with play-dough, glitter glue and other messy stuff.
- Yes to my kids when they want to go to places I don’t really care for.
- Yes to participating more with my kids in general. I need to play more board games, more hide and seek and make more forts and do plays. Sometimes I slip into zombie mode and just go through the motions with my kids. Then my husband comes home and is Mister Fun Guy and I envy him. He actually has it right. I need to remember that life is about experiences and make sure my kids are having fun and I am having fun with them. Not just giving them a bath and dinner.
- Yes to my husband more. Nuff said.
- Yes to my sister in Nashville, who always ends up coming to visit me, when I should also be going to see her. It’s time to do that visit.
- Yes to family night. I’m fortunate enough to have some of my family close. I need to make sure we get together (even if the house isn’t as picked up as I would like) and have fun.
- Yes to reading to my kids when it’s not bedtime.
- Yes to more lunches with my big sister.
- Yes to more relaxing baths and a great book.
- Yes to personal time. Every single day.
- Yes to more time with my husband without our kids.
- Yes to people who are healthy to be around.
- Yes to quality time with true friends.
- Yes to Girl’s Night Out. I need it (and sometimes a margarita) to be sane.
How am I supposed to have time to do all that important stuff? I’ll be taking a page from Nancy Reagan: just say no!
No List
- No to spending time with friends who do all the talking.
- No to talking on the phone to friends who do all the talking. Pinch your nearest kid to make them cry and say you gotta get off the phone (only kidding about the pinching, but kids make for a great excuse).
- No to people who use you an have no regard for your valuable time.
- No to spending time with people who make you feel bad about yourself.
- No to friends who are toxic for you, the ones who bring out your worst. Just because you have known them for years doesn’t mean they deserve your time.
- No to friends who make you do all the friendship work.
Is it just me, or do you have these situations as well? If you do, I challenge you to make yourself a yes and a no list that will help you think about how you spend your time and who gets that valuable time. 
After all, you don’t get the time back, and what’s important will always be the same.
Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz from 1939, we need to remember we have the power to change things. We don’t even have to click our heels. And, in the end, there is no place like home!
Fabulous post! But I’m going to be on guard if you end our next phone call because little ones suddenly start crying hysterically!!
Don’t forget to say no to trying to be super-mom. That’s my trap. Not so much the downward-spiral friendships. Rather, it’s trying to pick up the house, make dinner, plan healthy meals, go to the gym, do the grocery shopping, do the laundry, do the regular needs shopping, work a full time job, etc…. all while my kids would just like me to hang out with them.