Why I Laughed All The Way Home From the Store

So, as usual, I am on the better-late-than-never plan. School had already started when I got around to doing a little back-to-school shopping for my daughter (6). Everything at the store was picked over, but I was happy that I didn’t have any lines to contend with. Actually, I was just happy to be out and about by myself.

After getting a few things, I decided to make one more stop at another clothing store. Nada. So I headed out to the car empty-handed. I had intentionally parked away from other cars because someone hit my car not too long ago, and ever since that incident, my car has been getting little dings left and right that…

  “makes me complEEtely INSANE! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!!!!”

The damage from the accident isn’t too bad, but thanks to a huge hail storm in April that pelted thousands of cars in town, my car isn’t scheduled to be repaired for a few more weeks.

Anyway, I walked up to my car in the parking lot and low and behold there was a new dent — one I’d never seen before. Craaaaaaap! After a few more choice words in my head, I began to investigate it. Maybe there’s just something on there. I started to scrape at it with my fingernail thinking Please, be poop. Please be poop! (To be clear, I mean bird poop.) I stopped scraping it because I didn’t want to make it worse. Instead I started using my shirt in an attempt to shine it up. Um, no luck. It was chipped paint.

Well, this sucks! I thought, shaking my head in defeat. Time to go home.

After fumbling around in my garbage can of a purse for my keys, I grabbed them, clicked the button and then…silence.  Nothing happened. That’s when I realized it was…

Not. My. Car.

D’oh! So, pretty much I cursed, prayed a bird pooped on and then spit-shined someone else’s Honda.  But I got to laugh all the way home.

Annnnnnnd, since my idiocy knows no bounds, there’s a little more.  When I got home and pulled into the garage, I accidentally ran over the broom and smashed the handle. Guess I won’t be taking my Nimbus 2000 out for a spin anytime soon!

G’night folks!

Other Random Acts of Stupidity









9 Responses to Why I Laughed All The Way Home From the Store

  1. Amy August 16, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    Joel and I both enjoyed this one immensely!!

  2. Amy August 16, 2011 at 10:09 pm #

    And I now officially want to see that movie again.

    • Heather August 16, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

      Me too! I think I am going to look it up on demand. Did you see my attempt at a French accent on TheMommyhood.com FB page. I totally thought about you when I wrote it.

      “We’re going down, we’re going down, we’re going down…”
      “It’s here. The mucus is here…coating the lining of the intestinal wall….SPASM!”

      • Amy August 16, 2011 at 11:25 pm #

        Let’s make a date to watch that together soon. I’ll try to find it.

  3. Sarah August 17, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    “Shut up.” Is that a word? Love that movie. My list of dim-witted moments is epic, and unfortunately not confined to the parking lot.

    • Heather August 17, 2011 at 2:04 pm #

      Well, then I’d say we are meant to be friends. Glad to have you ’round TheMommyhood. You’ll fit fight in here.

  4. Patra @ I Do Declare August 17, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    You’re a mess!!! My mom kept saying a zillion times just how pretty you are too. Was so, so great to see you, even for a little while!

    • Heather August 17, 2011 at 2:02 pm #

      Tell your mom I love her. I feel super extra ugly today, so thanks for sharing that. I gotta tell you, that last day before it’s hair-coloring day – I always feel like the worst version of myself. Do you know what I mean?

      Anyway, it was great to see you at the wedding, and you looked amazing in that pink dress. Hope you had fun at the reception.


  1. Milkshakes, Losers and Idiots | TheMommyhood.com - August 26, 2011

    [...] Rather than work, I decided I would watch the Meg Ryan movie French Kiss. I had been thinking about all week after mentioning it in my blog post Why I Laughed All the Way Home from the Store. [...]

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