A Letter of Apology to My Vacuum

WARNING! This post is not for weaklings…then again, neither is motherhood!

There are certain household items that not only deserve my respect, but my apology. One of those is my vacuum. (Another is the toilet, but I don’t really want to write that letter, nor do you want to read it).  Okay, back to the apology at hand.

Dear Hoover,
Sorry for what I have made you snarf down. From under-cushion sofa grunge to shards of feces from my darling son —  from the depths of my soul, I apologize. I respect you for eating whatever I put in your way and your faithfulness every time I flip the switch. Sorry to be the one to take you like a lamb to the slaughter to whatever nastiness awaits your service.

(Last night, my daughter vomited. I’m a puker, so my husband knows he is always the one who is on vomit duty.  When he was handling clean up, he requested the vacuum. “Um, you’re gonna vacuum up vomit?” I said.  He plainly replied, “Just the hot dog.”)

“Ewwwww!” Hoover, your job totally sucks.

Respectfully,
Heather Alexander

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7 Responses to A Letter of Apology to My Vacuum

  1. Jennifer March 13, 2010 at 2:13 pm #

    This is too cute, Heather! Oh yes, poor Hoover. …
    I added you to my sidebar and look forward to reading more posts!

    Great talking with you today!
    Jennifer
    (Simone passed out on the way home…yay for birthday parties!)

    • heatherteen March 13, 2010 at 3:02 pm #

      Thanks for the support! Lucky you – no naps here. But I’m sure she’ll be gone when her head hits the pillow tonight.

      Looking forward to checking out your blog, too.
      Heather

  2. Jennifer March 13, 2010 at 2:13 pm #

    This is too cute, Heather! Oh yes, poor Hoover. …
    I added you to my sidebar and look forward to reading more posts!

    Great talking with you today!
    Jennifer
    (Simone passed out on the way home…yay for birthday parties!)

    • heatherteen March 13, 2010 at 3:02 pm #

      Thanks for the support! Lucky you – no naps here. But I’m sure she’ll be gone when her head hits the pillow tonight.

      Looking forward to checking out your blog, too.
      Heather

  3. Angie March 14, 2010 at 9:19 am #

    Too funny. Oh the joys of what I get to look forward to in the coming years!! Thanks for making me laugh out loud!!

  4. Angie March 14, 2010 at 9:19 am #

    Too funny. Oh the joys of what I get to look forward to in the coming years!! Thanks for making me laugh out loud!!

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    [...] not only because it is a pain to do it, but also because of what I am going to find in there.  Plus, I feel sorry for my vacuum. [...]

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