Wanted. Woman who is unafraid of poop, vomit, and mucus. Must be selfless and willing to work long hours for no pay. Must also be willing to forgo sleep and eat cold food that is supposed to be hot.
Duties include nose-wiping, butt-wiping, sandwich-making and poo removal.
Must be able to wrestle a toddler into pants he doesn’t want to wear and trick a child to eating broccoli and Lima beans.
Must also serve as a referee (no whistle required, you can simply yell until you are hoarse or knocked unconscious by an errant skee ball at the nearest Chuck E. Cheese’s).
Drivers license required. Knowledge of first-aid recommended. License to con – a must!
I found this Mom Salary Wizard online where you can plug in what you do at home and it will calculate an annual salary for you. Since there is no category for poo removal, I can tell you it is not terribly meaningful. But it’s kinda fun to think about what you could do with that money if you had it. (And this is not just for stay-at-home moms. Working Mom’s salaries are over and above their work salaries). Oh, if only it were so.
Despite the sarcastic job description above, I really love being a mom. I love my kids and the material they bring me is endless. It’s a good thing I love to laugh because sometimes, it’s laugh or cry, baby!
So, what would your job description say?
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